Political Theater 3000 (er, 2008)

Let's face it ... "The Four Freedoms," it wasn't.

Admittedly, I came into Bush's performance at 6:14pm, because I was busy bopping to a really sweet Canadian Jazz station, while cooking dinner. But when I did get a clue and turned on KPLU, I came in to his speech when he was postering about earmarks (like he isn't responsible for many of them).

The fact is, I generally don't like to hear him. His voice grates on my nerves, like talons on a virgin chalkboard. But the thing that has always annoyed me about his voice - namely, his affected Texas drawl - barely registered this evening. I guess he's finally figured out, that we know he's from Connecticut.

But I digress.

I tried to listen dispassionately to his self-congratulatory speech. But he kept pissing me off.

Instead, I would find myself, in classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 fashion, quipping after some of his most asinine assertions.

But it was only when he referenced Darfur, that I decided I had to Live Blog my sass.

W: America is opposing genocide in Sudan and supporting freedom in countries from Cuba and Zimbabwe to Belarus and Burma.

Who doesn't "oppose" genocide? What the hell does that mean; "We're going to form a circle and sing 'Give Peace a Chance'?" Saddam was an "evil tyrant" who required military intervention, but the Janjaweed's campaign of rape, murder and pillaging merits ... opposition?

W: And tonight I ask the Congress to support an innovative proposal to provide food assistance by purchasing crops directly from farmers in the developing world, so we can build up local agriculture and help break the cycle of famine.

Passing the Jubilee Act and supporting the Point Seven Campaign, in response to the UN Millennium Development Goals, is better than subsidizing international farmers, when our own are struggling. Forgive the debts that countries acquired under tyrants and despots (who were far too often supported by our government and allies), increase health care aid (without right-wing, ideological impositions) and let the citizens in the "emerging markets" acquire the skills and health stability to support their own farmers.

W: Over the past seven years, we have increased funding for veterans by more than 95 percent.

It's great to increase funding for vets, but when their programs were under-funded to begin with, the real benefit is FAR less than a 95% gain.

W: So I ask you to join me in expanding their access to child care, creating new hiring preferences for military spouses across the federal government and allowing our troops to transfer their unused education benefits to their spouses or children.

Wow, that's actually a good idea. But will the spouses and children still be eligible for the benefits even after their partners and parents come home, shrouded in a flag?

W: And so long as we continue to trust the people, our nation will prosper, our liberty will be secure and the State of our Union will remain strong.

I'd like to trust "the people," but I'm still a bit wary of the 56 million people who re-elected you. Here's hoping they've seen the errors of their ways.