Last New Year's Eve, my roommate and I went to Tacoma's First Night and then came home, lit some candles, poured some wine, fired up the woodstove and burned stuff as part of a Full Moon/New Year release. It was actually a beautiful experience and inspired me to prepare a manifestation collage during the New Moon on January 8th. And say what one will, but I think both experiences "worked."
In my purge, I wanted to do away with the health and financial dramas of 2007. I watched slips of paper scrawled with the names of different self-destructive tendencies writhe and wither in the flames. I felt a visceral need to be better than I had been, and a surge in confidence in my ability to do so. And it wasn't because of the wine.
In my collage, it was strangely prophetic (if one doesn't believe in manifestations), or refreshingly effective (if one does). The collage speaks of changes in scenery, learning new skills, pulling out of despair and awakening to new possibilities, discovering and rekindling love, showing gratitude, and seeing my godson. ALL of which became manifest within a few months. Granted, it also highlights finishing school, which I have yet to do. But, returning to the university context in February inspired me to make more progress on the dissertation in a matter of months than I had done in the span of the three previous years. So, that's a good thing.
This New Year's Eve was very different from last. For starters, there was no burning: I don't have a fireplace or woodstove and there is a burn ban in the valley (oh, and last night it was snowing with gusty winds). I didn't go out. I did, at least, bathe, and then promptly get back into my pj's. I curled up with The Intimate Critique: Autobiographical Literary Criticism
and allowed myself to be blockaded in bed by Scratch and Jude (Chester was hiding under the bed, as he really dislikes illegal fireworks). I was asleep by 11:30.
And I think that was a very appropriate way to spend that New Year's Eve after a long year of often breathless recovery. 2008 was the year I found my footing again. There were still some occasional missteps, but no major falls. What a blessed and satisfying improvement over 2007.
And so I look now at 2009, which I hope will be a year of resolution - breaking down some residual problems and challenges into smaller components, and solving them once and for all.
The three biggies for this year: my dissertation; the Tacoma House; and stabilizing my health and fitness.
The Dissertation. To finally resolve this "little" problem, I need to:
Health and Fitness. I am 35 years old, and my body aches. Since starting my new job, I've stopped going to the gym everyday and now have the back-flab and snarky observations of my 95-year old step-great-aunt to prove it.
Last month, I joined the gym at work and started going intermittently. But for the sake of my mental and physical health, I need to go at least 5 days/week. My goal isn't a dress from Bebe or a shopping spree at Victoria's Secret. Rather, on September 6th, I plan to arrive at the Longmire Camp in Mount Rainier National Park and begin a 10-14 day hike around the mountain along the Wonderland Trail (sample photo journals here and here). I haven't lined up hiking partners yet, but have faith that I will. A fundamental part to the life I aspire to live is activity: hiking around the world; scuba diving in a variety of waters; skiing down and around mountains; sailing; and building a natural, green home. And all of this requires that I have a body that doesn't balk at breaking a sweat or breaking down some good old fashioned lactic acid.
There are, of course, other goals I have for this year: move into the country (if I buy another car) or into the heart of town (if I don't); submit something for publication; actually do NANOWRIMO... but none of these are things that need to be resolved. And my focus for 2009 will be on resolution. Everything else, is gravy.
In my purge, I wanted to do away with the health and financial dramas of 2007. I watched slips of paper scrawled with the names of different self-destructive tendencies writhe and wither in the flames. I felt a visceral need to be better than I had been, and a surge in confidence in my ability to do so. And it wasn't because of the wine.
In my collage, it was strangely prophetic (if one doesn't believe in manifestations), or refreshingly effective (if one does). The collage speaks of changes in scenery, learning new skills, pulling out of despair and awakening to new possibilities, discovering and rekindling love, showing gratitude, and seeing my godson. ALL of which became manifest within a few months. Granted, it also highlights finishing school, which I have yet to do. But, returning to the university context in February inspired me to make more progress on the dissertation in a matter of months than I had done in the span of the three previous years. So, that's a good thing.
This New Year's Eve was very different from last. For starters, there was no burning: I don't have a fireplace or woodstove and there is a burn ban in the valley (oh, and last night it was snowing with gusty winds). I didn't go out. I did, at least, bathe, and then promptly get back into my pj's. I curled up with The Intimate Critique: Autobiographical Literary Criticism
and allowed myself to be blockaded in bed by Scratch and Jude (Chester was hiding under the bed, as he really dislikes illegal fireworks). I was asleep by 11:30.And I think that was a very appropriate way to spend that New Year's Eve after a long year of often breathless recovery. 2008 was the year I found my footing again. There were still some occasional missteps, but no major falls. What a blessed and satisfying improvement over 2007.
And so I look now at 2009, which I hope will be a year of resolution - breaking down some residual problems and challenges into smaller components, and solving them once and for all.
The three biggies for this year: my dissertation; the Tacoma House; and stabilizing my health and fitness.
The Dissertation. To finally resolve this "little" problem, I need to:
- consistently use my library carrel, because at home I have a chatty new roommate and sly cats who think nothing of smothering me and my keyboard;
- waste less time - I've deleted Klondike and Blackjack from my Blackberry and am committed to eating dinner at the dining room table, rather than in front of the TV. I also will ration my Facebook time to twice a day and will stop with the chronic status updates (no more than once per day) - if people want to know what I'm up to, they can call or email, or read my blogs when I bother to update them.
Health and Fitness. I am 35 years old, and my body aches. Since starting my new job, I've stopped going to the gym everyday and now have the back-flab and snarky observations of my 95-year old step-great-aunt to prove it.
Last month, I joined the gym at work and started going intermittently. But for the sake of my mental and physical health, I need to go at least 5 days/week. My goal isn't a dress from Bebe or a shopping spree at Victoria's Secret. Rather, on September 6th, I plan to arrive at the Longmire Camp in Mount Rainier National Park and begin a 10-14 day hike around the mountain along the Wonderland Trail (sample photo journals here and here). I haven't lined up hiking partners yet, but have faith that I will. A fundamental part to the life I aspire to live is activity: hiking around the world; scuba diving in a variety of waters; skiing down and around mountains; sailing; and building a natural, green home. And all of this requires that I have a body that doesn't balk at breaking a sweat or breaking down some good old fashioned lactic acid.
There are, of course, other goals I have for this year: move into the country (if I buy another car) or into the heart of town (if I don't); submit something for publication; actually do NANOWRIMO... but none of these are things that need to be resolved. And my focus for 2009 will be on resolution. Everything else, is gravy.
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