Like riding a bike

Transforming one's life for the better sure is hard work.

Especially when you lose your job ... and your roommate, and you have to switch to COBRA in$urance, and the in$urance company balks at paying for a procedure you need, and your car isn't getting sold, and your body wigs out because of the medication you are on & all the stress you are under, and your dream job (owning your own cafe) is both overwhelming and the only thing that has really put a smile on your face in years...

So yeah... in the last two weeks I have fallen off the hippie wagon (bye-bye pescovegetarianism, hello culinary therapy at Tamarind Tree) and damn near fell apart (Hot flashes and mood swings? In rapid, overlapping succession? Lupron...I hate you).

But thank God it's Monday. A new week and new beginning. To "celebrate" I returned to the cycle class at my gym, and unlike my effort last month, I managed to complete the whole class! I bought more beet juice and cranberry juice. I made a really tasty veggie pizza with fresh zucchini & basil from my garden, on a gluten-free crust. Small steps in the right direction; but "steps" nonetheless.

In general though, I find this whole journey to be VERY hard. It's not just a matter of changing what I eat or how I get around. It's really a whole different relationship to time.

It takes time to cook from scratch. Even with the right recipes or even raw cuisine. It takes time to coordinate travel plans via public transportation, & even more time to use it. Which is why, I suppose, I have only done so when I took the bus back from the airport and to Tacoma's July 4th Freedom Fair.

I have to admit, as a dyed-in-the-wool procrastinator, the time thing is not my forte. And as a stubborn only child who seems to grow more stubborn with each passing day, the whole "change thing" is a real pain in the ass. Kind of like Kreacher's reaction to being willed to Harry. But I digress.

The point is... I think I'm better with making changes when they come one-at-a-time, not all-at-once. And with all of the flux and uncertainty around my financial, professional, entrepreneurial, academic, and health needs and goals... well...damn it... I just feel like I'm too busy spinning and losing my bearings rather than making a coherent change for the better.

Walking my talk is a VERY frightening proposition

Today I met with a woman who REALLY wants to buy my car. Which is great since I need the money. I've been planning to sell my car to tread lighter on the planet and economize. But...it's my car. My readily available transportation. My "I-don't-want-to-cook-so-I'll-go-get-some-pad-thai" back up plan. I mean, as of now, I don't even have a bike (thanks thief, may karma visit you when you least expect it).

But I am reminded:

• I live a short walk away from the bus stop, and only slightly further away from a major transit center;
• It's summer in the Northwest and biking is beautiful (though hazardous given the number of people who got their licenses in a Cracker Jack box); and last but not least,
• I need the money. Getting caught up on my expenses from my remodel last summer will simply require sacrifices. Besides, with no car, I'll be even less tempted to impulse shop since there will only be so much room on the bike (when I finally buy a new one).

So, it all makes sense/cents...but I'm still nervous. It would be one thing if Flexcar had a station nearby. It would be one thing if I lived in the Bay Area or New York, where one really doesn't need a car. In places like that, it's easy to be "green" and lose the car. Complicating matters is that the woman interested in my car needs me to do an owner-financing for a year, since her family just bought a house and she's planning to open a restaurant (I swear, she's like my doppleganger or something). She would only be able to pay $2000 this month, about $2000 more when she sells her current car, and the rest would be $150/month over the course of a year, with the final payment being a lump sum for the remainder. My thing is...I don't know how long it will take me to find a job within biking or reasonable bus/train distance and I may need the money from the car sale to tide me over. But she is the only person, so far, who is seriously interested.

So, yeah...I really want to do my part to help the planet and my regional air quality. I really want to get on top of my finances instead of always feeling like I'm playing catch up. But it freaks me out that the car is at the center of both issues. I mean, the only time I was without a car since I began driving 17 years ago was when I studied abroad in France and Russia (1 year total) and my first year in the UCSD International House.

But I've got to do it. For the planet. For my pocketbook. For my waistline.

Why I Hate Driving in WA: The Umpteenth Take

I plan to sell my car for several reasons:

• $150-$200 a month for gas in a car that actually gets very good gas mileage
• $200+ a month for insurance and car servicing averaged over 12 months
• To pay off some of the Retail Therapy from last summer's fibroid over-reaction
• To lower my blood pressure and lessen my tendency to begin and end my day with a hefty dose of misanthropic loathing.

Yes... driving makes me cranky.

Actually ... driving in Washington makes me cranky.

I don't understand and REALLY don't like:

• Carpool fakes who cut off three lanes of traffic to make their exit;
• Drivers who treat pedestrians like moving targets, but treat roadkill like sacred cows;
• The Washington State Department of Transportation: is grading a five-mile length of highway really that hard? Does it really take TWO YEARS to still not get it right?
• Mr. Weekend Warrior Man with the truck bed full of yard and house debris who thinks that the Cover Your Load law applies to everyone BUT him;
• Folks who drive Family Armored Vehicles who then whine at the pump about the cost of gas. Well dork(-ess), no one said you had to drive a tank;
• Folks who drive Family Armored Vehicles who slow to TWENTY MILES PER HOUR ... ON THE INTERSTATE ... when there's a little bump in the road;
  
• Folks who drive Family Armored Vehicles and clearly don't know how to park them;
• Speed limit fascists who break any number of laws & cut off any number of people in order to access the fast lane, only to get there and go at or below the speed limit;
• and last, but far from least - Folks who treat the slightest bit of cloud spittle as a mandate to drive like halting, neurotic teenagers. This is the Northwest. It is going to drizzle. It is going to rain. It's going to snow. There is going to be weather. Deal with it.

So, yeah... as nervous as I am about selling my car in the next week or so, I am relieved that I will be handing off the driving responsibility to professionals. I had considered stepping up my bike commuting, but a moving target, I am not. I will likely only bike to and from bus stops and along backroads.

Of course, I am also actively lobbying/harassing Flexcar about setting up a station at the Tacoma Dome Transit Center. After all, there are some things that I simply cannot do without a car, and I don't want to burden my friends too much by asking for rides. So please, Flexcar, PLEASE come to Tacoma.

Trying to live sustainably WITHOUT developing ecochondria

Sometimes, I really like the internet and customized searches. Without them, I never would have read a rather funny, yet totally understandable column by Joy Colangelo of The Monterey Herald.

While she did not use the nasty little five-letter word, what she talks about is guilt. Guilt for what one's choices - even the ones with good intentions - may be doing inadvertently to the planet.

She recycles some interesting factoids:

• When one factors in the product life-cycle of all the components of a Prius, one might have less of an impact on the environment if one buys a Hummer.
  
• In the pesticide battle, it might be better to use a little biological warfare rather than capitulate to those pesky invasive species that are transforming ecosystems.
• Organic t-shirts may be organic, but they also take 25 gallons of water to make.

Her tone (which I presume is a little tongue-in-cheek) is a bit frantic a la Scarlett's "Where shall I go? What shall I do?!"

BUT...

She has a point.

I guess as long as the industrial, manufacturing and agricultural domains focus on cradle-to-grave systems of production, rather than shifting towards cradle-to-cradle systems (a la McDonough and Braungart's Cradle to Cradle), we will all have to regularly choose between the lesser of evils and do what we can to make our day-to-day lives as common-sense sustainable as we can.

To that end, it just makes sense to collect roof run-off in a rain barrel and use it in the garden. OR if you're like my aunt's dear friend in Toledo who "plants" silk flower arrangements in her yard, then you can use the run-off for a water feature like a pond (treated with organic mosquitocide, of course) or a pond-less waterfall.

As for the Prius-Hummer comparison... well, unless the materials that go into a Hummer are significantly less toxic and less traveled than those of a Prius, I still say that the Prius' green cred trumps the Hummer's any day of the week.

Personally, as part of my hippiefication, I plan to sell my car in a couple of weeks: to save money; make some money; force me to get a bike and actually USE it; and yes, do my part to save the planet one bike ride, bus trip and (HOPEFULLY) Flexcar reservation at a time.